Oh no, not that kind of “crunch”.
So you know sometimes so much stuff is happening but you’re not really sure what you should be doing. No? Oh… well I’m going through that right now. I know I have stuff to do, but I still don’t know what to do. It’s a weird feeling and it’s frustrating but I guess that’s life.
Right now, I feel like I am at a pivotal time… I want to say my life but its not that deep, just a pivotal time at this period. Shooting for our web series starts soon and then I am soon heading off for America. I think right now pretty much sums up this whole academic year. Excitement, endless work and stress. I’m not going to lie, this years been pretty great. I’ve produced some good films and met some amazing people. But with people comes personal stress issues, they just come hand in hand.
To be honest with you I haven’t experienced too much personal stress. Well I say that, I guess I experienced a lot at one moment in time. and it just made me think how crazy emotions and feelings are. I guess I’m kind of going off on a tangent but oh well. I mean you can feel a certain way, you know you don’t want to feel like that but you just can’t help it. Something inside you just overcomes you and makes you feel that way. It’s a really frustrating situation to be in. If at the beginning of the year you told me I would have to deal with this I would have laughed in your face.
It’s important to remember that all feelings pass. No matter how bad it feels now it will pass, and the people that are making you feel this way aren’t even worth it. No one deserves to feel that way and nobody has the right to make you feel that way. Seriously, why does this person have so much power over your happiness. I do get it, I get that we get these feelings normally about people we care about. But how much can this person really care about you?
I used to be such a blank slate when it came to feelings. Never showed anything, but now I’ve realised that that got me into a lot of sticky situations. Don’t get me wrong, expressing your feelings also can but at least you’re not hiding anything and everything is out on the table. Am I making any sense here? I don’t know. But when I say “crunch time” I’m really alluding to my transition into emotional maturity haha… well that’s what I’d like to think so.
I don’t think any of that really means anything to you, well it might, I hope it did.